Some Words that Should Die
As an author, it’s our job to make sure that our
readers are fully engaged in our work. To make this happen,
various elements come into play. The obvious ones are
relatable and compelling characters and a well-paced plot line that holds
interest, but these cannot be accomplished if we don’t have command of the
language and keep our manuscript tight.
In my recent editing path, I came across some words
that I think should die and made a note of them. They don’t carry their
weight and nine times out of ten can be eliminated without a tear. I’ve
provided examples for some. Of course, there is no rule that says the
words below shouldn’t be used in a manuscript, but we would want to use them
sparingly if at all.
Just
Simply
Only – has its place but use for special emphasis.
Example: This is only
the beginning.
Reason: In this case
it’s implied that a lot is going to take place. It has an element of
intrigue.
Poor example: The
presentation was to commence at nine-thirty, leaving them only another thirty
minutes.
Reason: The “another” covers “only”…not necessary.
Stronger: The presentation was to commence at nine-thirty, leaving them
another thirty minutes.
Started/starting
Example: She started laughing.
Reason: Is she laughing or not?
Stronger: She
laughed.
Seemed
Example: The
intensity of emotion in the courtroom seemed tangible.
Reason: Well, is it or isn’t it?
Stronger: The intensity of emotion in the courtroom was tangible.
Felt
Smirk / Grin
These words stand out in a manuscript. Smiled is more accepted and smack readers as much as the
variations. (Similar to the advice you know about “he said” being
stronger than “he stated”.)
As
Example: She
let out a deep breath as though relieved to get this off her conscience.
Stronger: She let out a deep breath relieved to get this off her
conscience.
Still
Example: Business
people still dressed in their suits with loosened or removed ties in need of a
break were drawn in.
Reason: You can take the word “still” out and the sentence remains
intact.
Stronger: Business people, needing a break, still dressed
in their suits with loosened or removed ties, were drawn in.
Look / looked
These sorts of reminders are always welcome. We use these words you mention so often in speech where we're less concerned with taut presentation that when we sit down to write, they fall right into our written work as well. So thanks for taking the time Carolyn.
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